My hidden date - Clara Schumann Hall

Despite my excitement, certain bit of insecurity still managed to creep in when I arrived at (the magical) Frankfurt airport! It was such mixed feeling. And I couldn't quite explain why I felt that way. I started to be unsure about my 'hidden date' with Clara Schumann.

Is it really happening? Am I really leaving the airport, taking a taxi and hoping to get to a Date which had given me no prior physical confirmation or whatsoever? Are all these thoughts purely what I had imagined? Or are they gonna happened for real? What if I arrive and see no Clara Schumann? And hall? :'(

Before long, I realized I was literally trying to delay myself and procrastinate my leave from the airport - I went to the washroom three times in a row,  insisted on using the airport wifi when I have my own phone data, loitered aimlessly in Facebook, repeatedly checked my email mailbox... it did take me quite a while to muster up enough courage before I decided to join the queue and hopped into a taxi which brought me right to my destination in less than 15 minutes. I was still in a daze.

Ah... after much delay and wait and anticipation, I arrived at my date... :)

Clara Schumann Hall!!!

Woooo~ so this was the woman Brahms had loved his whole entire life... I stood in front of her sculpture so as to have a closer look at her... and I had stood and stared at her for a pretty long long long long while... I just wished to admire what Brahms had loved... and I will continue loving her... oh yes, of course, I had asked what was 'the message' that she had wanted to tell me, having summoned me all the way from Singapore to Frankfurt... and yes of course, she was quiet, as what I had expected - such stillness in the air reminded me of Brahms' silence when I tucked a bunch of yellow flowers in his arm, at his grave in Vienna several years ago :') 

[Happenings/ messages/ words more than often need time to settle themselves down, then be transported via various routes and channel... I still firmly believe all happenings have their moment of happening… I shall wait :)]

To my astonishment and pleasant surprise, I was left alone, for quite some time, to explore the hall all by myself, because the receptionist of the hall was busy tending to other matters... I browsed through the entire hall, front and back stage, and I enjoyed some private time with my diary while seated at one of the audience seats!

And did I mention I had quietly, secretly and unofficially reserved my favourite seat at Clara Schumann Hall :)) That was a huge pleasure, at least for that moment and for my many looking-back moments :))

A correspondence between Brahms and Clara that warmed my heart so much... the situation was simple - he wanted to give her a sum of money... he wrote with such gentleness and light-heartedness, full of affection, appreciation and respect; she rejected his offer, sent her words across in a tone with gratitude and pride, yet at the same time, full of affection, appreciation and respect :')

以下的两封来回书信让我异常动容 :')
他想给她一笔钱。说得如此轻描淡写、轻如鸿毛、深情体贴却又不失尊重。
她说不。说得如此温柔委婉、毅然决然、有尊严有技巧却又尽显感动。:')

Slow, is a new speed

I was very captivated by what I saw...

No pushing, shoving, all queuing...

They moved, or could be struggling, up the bricks.. orderly, non-hurriedly, steadily...

Slow, really is a new speed :)

Always thankful

I am beginning to realise this recurring trend in my life.

The more undesirable it appeared; the higher the impact it would have on my thoughts.

Something that had appeared to be so small, so fragmented and so not coherent had managed to puzzle themselves up to form a clear enough picture to be hung on my wall, such that I am able to peep through the picture, for a different view and from a different point.

I can’t be more thankful.

In the process of the happening, I was delighted to discover that one element I had been searching for, for the longest time.

Something I wasn’t entirely sure;
Something I couldn’t pinpoint;
Something I vaguely knew I possess, yet just couldn’t name it, and was clueless where to find it…

Now, I found it.

I'm so thankful! :)

Always do :)

Summer Chats

In London, summer holiday is almost over...

Alma and I had been on the phone quite a lot this summer. Things we talk about? making and amending plans, constructive or sometimes creative talks, relating to each other's daily events, be it major or minor, or simply some regular, healthy but insignificant women’s gossips.


We were on the phone for 5 straight hours 2 weekends ago. Other times, we would speak for at least 1 or 2 hours. Yeah, I too, was very surprised I was able to be on the phone for such a long stretch of time, since long hours had always been my struggle.

We often speak around 4:00am, Singapore time; which is also 9:00pm, London time. Thanks to my newly-revamped bedtime hours.

Of course, we aren’t always able to do this. There are times whereby I wish to sleep in a little more or that she was totally drained from her day schedule.

In whichever case, all these talks had been as therapeutic to me, as my usual writing times. Afterall, women talk to de-stress.

It’s amazing how we had come so far with just phone calls, texts and emails. I’m so pleased to know we are still staying on the same page and speaking the same language, after all these years.

All the best to our plans - Plans that are in action, plans that are in the queue, plans that are in the process, plans that are happenning and plans that are still brewing... :)

Fate & Time

时间常常因为缘分而关闭或暂时关闭，
而缘分又总是为了时间而开启或永不开启。

Because of fate, time shuts the door or temporarily shuts the door...
Because of time, fate opens the door or temporarily opens the door...

I used to think fate is the most important element, transforming itself in various modes, from events to events.

I recently discovered timing is just as crucial!

Puzzle

Puzzle fascinates me!

In many ways, it resembles what happens around us, and the people around us.

Every right piece would take us a step closer to the picture; so does every wrong piece, as it confirms what is not right.

There are people who like to begin a puzzle by searching pieces for the corners; while others prefer to find corners for the pieces.

There are people who thrive to avoid mistakes right from the very beginning; while others go easy and allow themselves with any mistakes they make.

There are people who only allow themselves to make a mistake once; while others repeatedly make mistakes. Worse are those who repeatedly make the same mistakes.

There are people who prefer to begin from fixing the corners; some prefers to start fixing from the edges; while others simply cruise and fix along without much clues and rules about where they are heading.

There are people who determined to fix with careful calibration; while others simply go along with reckless wild guesses.

There are times we can’t find what we want; there are also times where we keep stumbling across what we do not want.

There are times when the right seems wrong and the wrong seems right. It’s all due to our positioning, perceptions and blind spots at one particular moment.

The amazinging thing that moved me is – despite the very similar in shapes for all pieces, there is only ONE missing piece to each missing part. Comfortably fitted, like Cinderella in her glass slipper.

That’s fate, to me.

A beautifully captivating one.

Brewing

I’m beginning to like the word ‘Brewing’.
It comprises of time, distance, wait and anticipation.

Many things are being forced to slow down, in the process of brewing.

Slowing down doesn’t have to feel like holding back. It can be an opportunity to create a space between a certain object in focus, to chill our thought, also to calm our mind.
This process produces energy.
Such is the energy that gives rise to many unexpected inspirations and strength.
Which in turn, perhaps, generates more brewing...

Slow, is a new speed! ;)

Unfinished

I did a totally bizarre thing at the concert last evening featuring Schubert’s Symphony No. 8 and Mozart Requiem – I was tearing from the audience seat, right from beginning to the very end, with intermittent yawning, possibly from the exhaustion of crying.

I wasn't feeling crumpy when the first movement of Schubert’s Symphony No. 8 was playing across the stage, yet tears just fell uncontrollably; I recalled similar emotional entanglement on my first close encounter with this movement - alternating my mood between strolling on the cloud and walking in the thunderstorm had, for some reasons, touched me so much that i eventually have to break down into tears, as I was totally unprepared for that repeated back and forth journey between the cheerful melody and the melancholic notes. I remembered feeling so annoyed with this movement and with Schubert; yet at the same time, feeling speechlessly beautiful and utterly complete.

My beloved Mozart Requiem came in right after the intermission. Being my third live encounter yet hearing it for the first time in Singapore, I was filled with much anticipation. I knew I am at my weakest, from the past two experiences, whenever this piece performs right before my eyes. As expected, I was sobbing and frowning at the same time, and was making a conscious effort to sniff silently so as not to produce any disturbing noise to my neighbouring audiences.

Both Schubert and Mozart had unintentionally sealed the fate of their unfinished masterpieces. And in our era, unfinished matters don’t seem uncommon too, for many people.

Unfinished matters, acting like a connector, as well as a junction, seem to be putting together what will happen in the future and what had happened in the past. And this could well appear to be so interestingly moving – it, on one hand, behaves like an answer; yet on the other hand, leading to more answers.

What happens at this moment could well be the bearing of what had once happened; it could also be the clues of the many future possible happenings…

Timing, a crucially critical element in that whole string of happenings, as well as not happenings. What should have happened 10 years ago chose its perfect timing to happen just 10 minutes before, simply illustrates how things, always happen for a reason, would fall into places on their own when timing turns right.

A fine example would be the creation of this blog and the birth of QuarterNotez.

Thank you Timing. :)